To look beyond anger.

Situation 1

Went to a food truck to buy laksa penang for my mother. Parked in front a car service shop, I asked for a permission from the owner (since car park was hard to find at that time), saying it won't be long as the food truck is just nearby the shop. He nodded and I was determined to make my errand shorter as I promised. 

With a smile, I greeted the female owner (I guess so. Another person there is a male, the one who cooks, maybe they are husband and wife). She noted my order and I saw she put the gravy into a  small transparent plastic bag. Well, there were only two customers. I came first, followed by a lady and she placed 4 orders, maybe a dinner for her family. Right, I was expecting the order to be done for less than 5 minutes. And guess what, it took her more than 10 minutes to prepare my order.

Okay, to make thing more interesting, I was scolded by her, because I think she ought me to be impatience which I was, at that time didn't portray any action or said any words showing I am in a hurry. Well, of course I am in a hurry because I promised the owner shop to be fast, but I only wanted to pay first, a sign to show her I want to get my laksa now. Haha.

When she scolded me in front of other customers (there were three there at that time), I started to feel annoyed, to the level I cannot hide it anymore. I made face and rolling my eyes and blurted something not nice.

"Oh God. Dah la lambat. Garang pula tu"
(sambil pandang langit lol)

Well, I think she overheard me, because after that she started to treat me nice (?) (as in she tried to control her voice tone and a bit well- mannered in handling my order). I felt terrible. I didn't want to such things to her but I couldn't control myself. A part of me feel satisfied. But some parts of me felt terrible. Guilty and wrong.

What if she is stressful so that's why she behaved like that?
What if she is having problem with the husband?
What if she is quite nervous maybe because they are still new in the area?
What if she just had a rough day, taking care of the children in the morning and afternoon and in the evening she needs to help her husband with the food truck business? 
And too many what ifs to be written down here.

I mean, I cannot solely blame her attitude to be like that. Maybe she has reasons. And before we say or act to such action, to be considerate and put ourselves in others shoes may save and do good to both parties. 

Key word: Empathy, considerate and husnu dzon (think good?)

If I were able to turn back time, I want to act differently to the situation when she scolds me. Something like,

Smile first.
"Akak, jangan risau, saya boleh tunggu. Tapi saya nak alihkan kereta sat. Janji dengan owner kedai tu kejap je tadi"
Or,
"Akak, jangan risau. Toksah kalut- kalut. Saya tunggu. Senyum la sikit na, stress ke akak?"

I want to make the situation less tense in which eventually, I feel happy (less annoyed) and she feels better. I mean, good words are sadaqah (kullu ma'rufin sadaqah: every good deed is charity). At the end of the day, we want to say, act and response positively because Allah loves those who do charity. Everything goes back to Allah. I think if we choose to be nice to people, insyaAllah, He will ease and grant our intention.

It depends on us, whether to make such choice or to let our ego wins. It feels good man to fulfill our desires (macam marah, protes rasa tak puas hati dengan cara yang salah atau sakitkan hati orang sebab depa sakitkan hati kita etc). But, only one person will benefit from that action. One or more hearts will be broken. 

Situation 2.

Recently, the issue of double park/ park inconveniently (one car, two parking lots etc) at Medan Puteri (main shopping lots area in my place) has been quite significant, especially in our facebook page in which some of the wrongdoers' car plate numbers were taken and made viral in the facebook and WhatsApp. A verdict to ensure no one ever repeat the same mistake. 

So just now, I went to Medan Puteri to buy groceries. After went through invisible list in my head while finding a car park, I saw two vacancies in front of the targeted shop. Alhamdulillah, nice. Easy for me to carry the groceries later. While grinning till ears, suddenly a Proton Iswara passed in front of my car and sneakily parked. In. Two lots. 

I was startled. Didn't expect this to happen. I look around and apparently no vacant parking lot at that moment. Suddenly I remembered the parking issue. Should I take the pic and viral it too? Should I give up and find other shops? Should I say something to the driver? 

What if he doesn't want to accept my advice? What if he scolds me back? What if he ignores my concern? (The driver is a guy). Too many what ifs, but my gut decided to act differently and bravely (?). Lol.

I parked behind his car. When the guy went out from his car, I opened the front passenger window and called him. So the conversation was like this;

Me: Assalamualaikum and sorry encik. Encik nak masuk kedai depan ni ke?
Guy: Ya saya.
Me: Lama tak? Bukan apa, saya pun nak ke situ dan nak parking. Nampaknya cik dah ambil dua parking ni.
Guy: *appears shock* Eh ha'ah la. Takpe, meh saya alih kereta saya. Maaf ya?
Me: Maaf juga. 

He went inside and corrected the position of the car. I parked and thanked him for his attitude. He smiled and said no worries.

I was really moved by this incident. I mean, what if, all these while, the people we deem as ignorant or selfish do not notice that their actions are causing inconveniences to others? Maybe if someone advice/ tegur, they'll know and try to improve themselves. 

I think the important aspect in appreciating this kind of situation is COMMUNICATION. There are reasons why Allah made human with two eyes, two sets of ear, two lips and a heart. Those are vital elements/ organs in deriving the essence of communication. 

We have been exposed about the importance of communication in marriage/ parenting and all sorts of relationship. But we may forget, communication with strangers is as crucial as those mentioned above. Plus, in a greater perspective, good communication in a society, be it between people we know or strangers will create a better 'human' foundation and therefore, we can achieve more goodness as a society.

Hatred, misconception and false- accusation can be prevented thus, the concept of hablu min an- nas (relationship with humankind- can someone help me to translate this haha) is actually, achievable. 

In conclusion,

I am deeply feel thankful to Allah for today's lessons. It has been quite some time my heart feels profound and alive back. Indeed, He is the greatest murabbi, after all. I hope I can improve myself to become a better muslim, a better human being, insyaAllah.

Home sweet home.
6/7/2018,

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