:)

Alhamdulillah.

Yesterday marked the end of my posting in psychiatry (except for the next Friday where I will have extra sessions at Hospital Taiping to see and experience certain psychiatry treatment/ modalities). Anyway, Allah has brought me through all of these hectic days and times. Couldn't express how grateful I am to be able to survive and breath in those days, bi idznillah.

For the past three weeks, I must say it was a time in which my strength, patient, and passion is challenged. Multifactorial causes, of course. I remembered I literally cried in front of everyone in one of the meetings I attend because of stress, fatigue and lack of self confidence. But after that I felt better. Crying is indeed one of the ways that can make you feel relax. 

Me, trying my hard to be happy, to feel happy with myself, my life and especially with everything that Allah has given to me, I learn that the eternal way to be and feel content with yourself is through recognition and appreciation to the life. And those two are discovered from the love of the Lord, the Provider and the Merciful one. 

Last Thursday, I attended a liqo'. We learned and discussed about the essence of surah al Ikhlas. During our discussion, I was attracted to a story of sahabah, who likes to read surah al- Ikhlas following al Fatihah and then a longer surah. So the other sahabahs were curious and asked him reasons behind the action. He refused to answer and said it is his way of being imam. So the sahabahs told Rasulullah about this matter and Rasulullah asked them to go back to the sahabah who likes to recite al Ikhlas and clarify about his reasons. The sahabah, of course, feeling reluctant but cannot refuse from answering it. He said,

" Al- Ikhlas describes my Lord and I love to read His descriptions"

I cried. That feeling is so sacred and profound. Words won't do justice to tell the world how I felt about this surah after knowing about this sahabah. It hit me deep inside my soul I must say. It made me reflects on how far I really LOVE Allah like Rasulullah and sahabahs did. 

Henceforth, I have no reason to stop from loving Him with all my heart and life. I want the husnul khatimah. I really hope my name is listed among those who will enter Jannah. I cannot imagine myself stuck at the sirat. Naudzubillah min dzalik.